High school drama...before high school starts.

     So, I know my last post was all about the virtues of summer vacation and how I’m so fucking lucky that kids in the nineteenth century needed to farm from May to September, but I can’t get the thought of high school out of my mind. Most of my classmates will be going to schools where they know somebody, have friends, won’t be totally alone. Me? I’m starting high school in a different district, in a different state, if you will. So, no. None of my best friends, or friends, even, will be following me into ninth grade. A few friendly acquaintances are all I’ve got—Isabel, Kennedy, Daniel, and Claire. I went to preschool with Isabel and Daniel, and Kennedy and Claire are their good friends from school who are coming to the same high school. I’m scared and pissed off and very, very excited for whatever high school has in store. It just sucks, just a little bit, that I won’t get to experience it with my best friends.
     It’s okay, though. This gives me a chance to start fresh, if you know what I mean. I don’t mean reinvent myself, my personality, get plastic surgery, and prance around in shoplifted Prada and Miu Miu—this means a good, old-fashioned, 1990s-chick-flick makeover. This means new clothes (if not Prada and Miu Miu), a renewed stab at banishing all traces of acne from my face, and a valiant attempt at perhaps using a little bit of makeup. I’m also going to buy an iPod, a new cellphone, get unlimited texting and data, and empty my laptop of all embarrassing, possibly incriminating stuff (by which I mean silly, stupid fan fiction I wrote two years ago while in the throws of Harry Potter obsession.) A new email address, a more consolidated online presence, and, of course, greater focus on academics. This is a total overhaul, but one that, nevertheless, preserves my own personality. I need to gauge what my new school will me like. And honestly, I liked the image I had at my last school—a small, friendly, intelligent girl. Come high school, I’ll just be adding a little of punch to that image. 
     I know that first impressions are important, so I’ll be planning a first-day-of-school outfit, as well as a first-day-of-summer-bridge-program outfit, one in which I won’t sweat that much. I know that being shy the first day pays off (bubbly girls can go two ways: popularity or total exclusion) and I know that friendships matter. I’ve been stuck, in the past, with boring friends with whom I share next to no interests, just because I’m a pushover and they seemed nice (which they were. It’s just that we had nothing in common…) I need to find friends that I can relate to, and if they aren’t popular, I don’t give a fuck. I know, too, that I shouldn’t piss off people that I don’t have to piss off simply for the sake of pissing them off (an obvious statement and a structurally jumbled one, too.) I know that in high school, music taste is important. I plan on cultivating a stronger personal taste this summer—that’ll go along with my new iPod.
     There is, of course, the all-important question of money. Where will it be coming from? How can I spend as little as necessary while getting as much return? How can I save for other things while adequately preparing myself for high school? To that, I say: babysitting. Huzzah! (And, of course, my four-days-a-week dog-walking job, which pays well.) All I need is a good marketing plan and I’m good to go. I’ll put that listserv of my neighborhood’s to good use. And I’ll rake in the cash, enough to sponsor these changes, these developments I’m preparing for high school.

     Does all of this sound superficial to you? Does planning for high school, my social life, the image I want to project, my connectedness, my friendships…does it sound superficial? I don’t think it is. I’m not a very superficial person. Sure, I like my laptop and my pretty clothes and I wish I had more, but I know that I could live without it, abandon it in a heartbeat for what I believe in, for the people that I love, for my family and friends and everything that’s good in the world. So, no. I don’t think that trying to figure out who I want to be in high school is superficial, and that planning and preparing and purchasing for that identity is superficial, at all. I think it’s straightforward and smart of me. Let me assure that my thoughts on this blog do not represent the full scope of my mind and my ideas--I don't just think about iPods and money. If that sounds pretentious, well, fuck it.

     And now, to sleep. Two blog posts in a day, with slightly conflicting points of view (nevertheless written by the same person) is a tiring experience to endure. I even induced it! Okay. Good night. Or, rather, to Grey’s Anatomy.